A Bit More of a Man

       Another First for my hijo. It was just sooo warming to see him trying to man up to what was to happen that day. I tried my best convincing him that it's time for him to lose two of his baby teeth to make way for his two new big permanents.
       I just knew that I should make the idea of a dental clinic less scary to my son because  it was just as harrowing to me back then. I remember feeling like being in a horror film each time I sit at a dental clinic. My mom would just stand there on the side and try hard with words to let me just get over it or scold me if she gets tired. Honestly, I want to be better than that. I want to let my child take responsibility as well in taking care of his body and be comfortable at that. It's one thing I want my child to grow up with.
      The denstist was helpful also in being engaging  telling my child about the wonders of the teeth and gums. Hahaha.
      So there we were on the  dentist chair, my child on my lap as the dentist started her work. To my surprise, four teeth were extracted during the  entire twenty minute session, instead of my expected two. When it was over, my child was visibly  a bit groggy but relieved. His lips numb and cotton sticking out, he sat on the couch silent and listening to the dentist's instructions.
      He didn't cry the entire session. He got a bit upset with the topical anesthetic but just that. I wonder what was on his mind when he was showed the four extracted ones. hehehe.
      Was it too much to bring him to the barber too? Because I did. I was surprised at how much he has grown  because he didn't mind at all how much hair was falling on his face unlike before. Probably it was because he has his attention on something else like his numbed gum and lip. =) =) =)
       A trip to the fastfood for an Ice cream was a visibly very welcome reward for him for all the trouble. =) Plus some toys and tree hunting. I promised that we go on a tree-hunting for Christmas after going to the dentist. I was glad he was already back to his talking self at the fastfood.
      So there he is, my little big man -- turned a bit more of a man that day after his first visit to the dentist.

Vain! So vain! So Loving it!

Safeguard white. Cream Silk conditioner. Palmolive shampoo. Okay na. This used to be my daily routine. Then Etude House came along. hahaha. Does it sound like I've been into EH for some time now? Actually, that "some time" is just two months old. 

                                            ***first haul*****
I had my eye on the Precious Mineral BB Cream but SM The Block, that time, had no stock. The pretty SA suggested to me the Magic BB Balm --which, in a whim, found its way to my basket. The Baking Powder was a given. The eyeshadows were amaaaazing. As for the pink pouch, I fell in love with it so I had to buy a couple of brushes so I could have that evil pink thang.
....Pagbalik ko ng Baguio.....

  ..... went on a Nail polish spree. ..and later that night....

 .....Mask-erade party! hahaha---for one!

 ...And there we have it! A face brighter than thirty minutes ago..and with matching holiday nails to go with  it.

I know. I know. Talking about them all in one page is just too much. Let's just take this as a preview to my new-found vanity. =)

Back with a Virus

Back after the Bar Exams. But my flu and asthma also are-- -with a vengeance! Funny how the body has its ways of telling us that we have exploited ourselves too much. Like waaaay too much, I guess. I tried avoiding cold ones in Manila as much as possible and when I can. But nature has its ways still. Perhaps it was due to the stubborn baths I take after several unmonitored all-nighters, or after sleeping for only an hour or two, or as I imagined myself sleeping at all! That no matter how many Vit.C pills you pop, the body knows when to shout out for the words  "Rest,B*y@tch!" You've got F-A-T-I-G-U-E written all over your system!

Aaaaand so it goes that I was made to stay under house arrest with my nose and throat suffering from all the drainage and virus a-partying all out. To the universe, if this is the way to tell me that I have done my best during the Bar review and Exams, I will gladly accept it. I know that beyond all this - - - some happiness and joy  awaits! =) =) =)

Thanks. I'm Happy You have My Mushiness =)

As the bus rolled away from the station, i watched you wave at me with tear-filled eyes. I know, darling, we've been having the same old episodes for a time now. But that doesn't mean I don't feel the same. I just have to struggle how to stifle my tears each time I have to leave you. Each time. Each parting, a set of those mushy "I'll be missing you" tears.
  I have always thought I was born an emotional lot. But I think it has something to do with how I tend to cherish much of the bonds I've built or found or formed or discovered....  Attachment issues? Probably not. It's totally different with our own kids, I'm sure.
  At this point, I feel like I need not to delve deeper into why I have this. Because, in a selfish way, I find it charming that my lil one feels the same way I do. Not that I see it as an inferiority nor a bane. I believe it's one of the purest manifestations of being human.
   Nunmul. Right from the windows of our souls. A beautiful irony representing something sweet despite its actual briny being.

NB: Hindi ko naman actually pangarap na maging lacrimoso ka, anghel. Sarap lang isipin na namana mo pagka-senti ko.>D >D >D

Self Talk 101.001 =)

I wonder what the winds might have been telling me all along-- that I seem to not have been able to hear. Or perhaps I chose not to hear. Deafness is a gift, I suppose. That which enables you to choose what to receive and understand, or that which enables you to be strong and unfettered because you didn't know.

This is my moment of suspension. I guess I have to take time and listen - - -to what life might want me to hear. Not the rustles of leaves by the window, nor the crackles from the brush. Not even the pitter-pattering rain on the roof. I need to listen to my own sound. My  own music. My own message from the voice mailbox called the universe.

That while the pages ramble about things happening for a reason, do I have to qualify whether these things are self-imposed? or via third-party feeder? or by mere coincidence? Would it especially occur to me that I have to understand and seek the reason behind all these that I am into? 

Is my mind THAT noisy enough that I am deafened by it? Good Lord, I need a mind boot. =)

Innocent Anxiety

When the doctor finally announced that my hubby needs hospital confinement for his becoming-frequent heart flutters, my son wasn't aware yet of what has to happen. Despite my silent worries after hearing the doctor say " You have to be admitted, before you might go into a stroke.." --- I tried my best to keep calm.

 The rain was pouring hard outside the resto as we left for the hospital. All my son cared for the moment were his rain-soaked shoes and socks  as we entered the ER. With quiet yet curiosity- filled eyes, he followed me to the admitting office. When we came back to the ER, my husband was already on IV and oxygen. I pulled the curtain divider open for my son to see. To my regret, i saw his eyes widen with fear as he blurted out "OH MY GOHHHHD" with such genuine anxiety. My instinct was to immediately tear him away from the sight of the needle and tubes stuck to his dad. "Now. that's another thing to worry" I thought.

Behind the curtain, my son began to ask me questions :
"What's wrong with Daddy, Mommy?" -- - his eyes wide and teary reflecting his fear and curiosity at the same time. Then...
" Is Dad going to die, Mommy?" ....

I felt the shivers all of a sudden. So I gently took him to a Triage Unit chair and explained "Dad is a little bit sick. But No, he's not going to die. That's why we brought him here so the doctors can cure him.... and we can keep watch on him too.."

My son's expression softened a bit, then he broke into this innocent yet hopeful smile saying "Oh, and we can watch him too? " A third relieved, I told him  "Yes".

And so it goes that my son kept his eyes on his dad as he was wheeled off, carefully sticking close by as his dad was being pushed up the ramp and into the room. He stuck close to the bed, gazing at his dad and asking a lot of questions. He would run to the bedside each time a clerk or a nurse would come to check on his dad's vital signs. Our little Big Man! =)

By nighttime, I was trying to convince him to sleep with his Lola at Wangal. He looked so apprehensive. Then I was told that earlier, he was asked the same thing to which he responded "No, I don't want to go to sleep at Wangal. I want to stay here because I love my Daddy. " Further, he added " ... I'm staying here because I'm afraid that my Daddy will die.."

I had to resort to age-old diversions like " No, it's okay because I'm going to stay with Daddy. You go home with Lola so you'd get to play with ading and watch Disney channel (his favorite)." After some thinking up his lil'boy brain, he finally agreed.

 My little hero. His deep worry and concern for his dad really melts me. But I do certainly would not want any further worries like this on his part in the future. Merely recalling how his face looked in the ER horrifies me. Too young to be a worried lot. He feels so proud though, each time he reminds himself as Daddy's sole medicine =)

...We spent two nights at the hospital. Been able to go home Saturday evening after a wonderful dinner with Mom, Dad, Meg, Jun. little Gilian and the three of us - - -all to my son's delight.
*************
Love Credits :
MIL and DIL
Mom and Dad                                  Uncle Ping and Bing
                                                        Meryl and little Miss Calde =)
Meg and Gilian                                  Loving SMS senders and                          
Jun jun                                               Facebook well-wishers =)
Mng Jeane and family                        Manang Juvy and Aunt Dhang
Marlon's Friends and Classmates
******************
                                                                    PRAYER
Blogger abovementioned respectfully prays before the Supreme Judge of All  that NO FURTHER hospitalizations similar to what transpired be had in the future. Let there be an order issued reinstating the involved to his status quo ante, i.e. In bouncing good health.

Challenge to the Self: Learn New Languages

From out of the blue, I decided to challenge myself to learn a language - -- or the basics to say the least. I guess what spurred this was the idea that it has been a long time since I last pushed my brain to it's insane limits. Since September 2010 was  the last I've seen of serious books, I decided to read once again and took to the site where it allows me to connect directly with Native speakers for some friendly coaching. Livemocha

First up, Since I have had the chance to do freelance English tutoring on a couple of Korean students before, I opted to enroll in the Korean 101 course. The cards were helpful enough as they come with audio. While it was a warm welcome for a totally clueless learner like me,  I found myself overwhelmed. The OC in me tells me that  there is just something more to learning a language by just hear and speak. To understand it better, one has to learn how to write it. That was my OC self talking, I thought.

The good thing about Livemocha is that it immediately exposes you to handy streetsmart lines. As you begin submitting you online samplers after each lesson, you get to have a handful of native speakers to comment on your work. I especially enjoyed the comment part because it always felt like having a lot of caring mentors.

 I am also given the chance to help others - - through submissions by others wanting to learn English.  Of course, each member gets to earn points for learning and helping. All your stats are seen on your frontpage.


Obviously, I am getting the hang of this learning. That's why my page shows the following course " Japanese... Spanish... korean..."
I know. I know. Ambitious is the word. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to step out of my barriers and learn. One word at a time.

..Finally! A Space Less Cumbersome for my Blahs

....First there was Friendster where i thought i could enjoy blogging away despite the  risk of  some keyboard or website glitches which frustrate me . Then came the "Notes" Page on Facebook where I struggled to substite for my semi-abandoned FS blogging. Lol! .... Then a friend suggested I try wordpress instead. Funny. I had been thinking of doing that for like five years now but never actually had the chance to TRY it... until she suggested it. Sigh! and yes! I give my cool card to Miss Bevs for the post.


     Sooooo, finally, after exporting, converting and importing---- here it is. A bigger space to Rant and Rave. A bigger space to store all about that different world called "inside my head", and more!