Losing, Letting Go, Leaving, Living.....

    I started this semester on a positive note hoping i'd do better in school and compete like a staunch law stude. But somewhere along the way... I realize I have on my hands new responsibilites... more of like a moral responsisbility.
    I have always believed that I have prepared myself for any "leaving" or for any "left behind" event. But hearing news of a probable "leaving" made me realize that this concept of preparedness is not what i actually have. I realize that this "preparedness" banner that i was trying to wave was actually a form of denial.
    Yes, it is refusing to believe in the surreal, choosing what to foresee, and relying on what I actually wanted to see....which, in the real world might all mean naught.
    And being faced with a probable foresight has left me off-balanced and mindless for the past three weeks....... my poor schooling, my poor mind, my poor self......tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.....